Respect

"Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you."
-Author Unknown

We have a young man on our team this year who has had a less than ideal middle school experience. He's a good kid, but his impulsive nature and short attention span often gets him into trouble (sounds like most middle school boys, right?), and he has also been on the receiving end of bullying more times than most. I have helped him out of a few tough spots during the past year and I'd like to think we have a pretty good teacher-student relationship because of it. He's well-behaved in my classroom and he works hard. In return, I keep an eye on him.

I keep an eye out for all my students. My team has always worked hard to build a strong community among our students, and it shows. We rarely have cliques form and every student can – at the very least – tolerate working productively with anyone else on the team. Discipline issues are also a rarity in our classrooms. I always tell students that we look out for each other, and I mean it.

Recently, my school hired a new music teacher who also happens to be a friend of mine. On the first day of school, I dropped by her room to take a peak at her roster and I noticed she started the day with this boy in her class. Knowing his track record in off-team classes, I decided to beat him to the punch and talk to him before trouble brewed. I started the conversation by reminding him about how I always say I look out for my team. I then explained that I also look out for my friends and this teacher happens to be a friend of mine.

I didn't have to say anything else – he understood that I'd be all over him if he caused trouble. And you know what? He has been excellent so far.

Does this boy suddenly love music class? Doubt it. Has he learned to control his impulsive nature? Unlikely. Instead, his good behavior is a testament to his respect for me and his understanding of my expectations.

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A Quick Note: If this post seemed like it was just me patting myself on the back, you're not far off. I recently joined Steve Hargadon's Teacher 2.0 experience on MightyBell and the first “experience” called for me to write about one thing I'm good at. For some reason, the situation with this student immediately popped into my head. If you would like to learn more about Hargadon's social assignments or perhaps want to join me, you can learn more about it here.

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Apology Accepted

At the start of the year, there was an incident where one of my students threatened me with physical harm. Our school’s zero tolerance policy kicked in and the situation was presented at a superintendent’s hearing. I never had a problem with this particular boy previous to the incident and I truly believe his words were spoken out of adolescent frustration and impulse rather than intent to harm; nonetheless, my school decided that a more restrictive environment would be in the best interest of the student. The incident quietly resolved and the student was placed in an alternative education classroom at a school down the road.

I feel like this incident has hung over me all year. I never had a chance to speak with the boy and I wasn’t involved in any of the decisions that were made afterward. Granted, he had a long line of prior offenses and this incident was what finally tipped the scales, yet I still felt somewhat accountable.

I wondered all year how he was doing at his new school. For many students, the alternative school placement is often the first step to a life of consequences to poor decisions. How many don’t graduate? How many end up incarcerated? This kid is too smart and has too much potential for either of those things to happen to him. Everyone should be accountable for their own actions and he certainly said some things that he probably shouldn’t have, but what long term price will he now have to pay?

This morning I received a call from the front office. There was a student here to see me.

I walked into the office to find the boy who had, only a few months earlier threatened to kill me, standing awkwardly with a present in his hand. He had painstakingly carved a desk placard bearing my name. It must have taken him weeks to sculpt, sand, and paint.

We spoke only briefly. His demeanor had changed; he was quiet, respectful, almost reflective. He told me he was passing all of his classes and hadn’t had a behavioral incident in months. The alternative school was a good fit for him and he had requested to stay there for next year too.

He never apologized for what he said to me at the start of the year. But after I shook his hand and left with my gift, I knew exactly what that palcard really represented.

Apology accepted.

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Teachers - Beware of Your Digital Footprint

My middle school is only a few miles down the road from Niagara University, so it makes sense that we work closely with their school of education. Most of the student teachers in our building come from NU and we also participate in their Learn & Serve program. This is basically a pre-service mentoring and observation field experience opportunity that all education majors must fulfill. It's not as rigorous or time-consuming as student teaching, but the need for cooperating teachers is just as essential.

Yesterday, I received an email from an NU student who wrote to inform me that she had been assigned to my room as her Fall Learn and Serve placement. She went on to explain that even though her placement was supposed to be for a full day on a routine basis, she wanted to come for half a day on an irregular schedule because she had a full time job.

Sensing trouble, I copied and pasted this girl’s email address into Facebook and quickly discovered her account. Her wall was blocked, but this was of little use because the profile picture of her drinking with her friends was more than enough to confirm my suspicions. This was not the kind of pre-service teacher I wanted in my room.

This is not a unique story. Increasingly each year, professionals find themselves in difficult spots as a result of poor decisions with regard to their digital footprint.

So to all you pre-service teachers (all teachers, really) – be safe. And don’t take pictures of the stupid things that you do.

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When Parents Put Sports Before Education

A student came to me this morning asking if he could turn his homework in late. I asked him why it wasn’t done, and he responded by giving me a scene-by-scene rundown of his evening.

After school he had practice for the school's modified lacrosse team. He went home, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and then was driven over to the ice rink to practice with the town’s hockey team. After that practice, we immediately went to another hockey practice, this time for a travel team he plays for.

This boy left his house for school at about 7am and, other than a hasty dinner, didn’t return home until about 10pm. No wonder my essay didn’t get done.

Sure, I could have reminded him that I gave two days in class to work on it. I could have also told him that school should come before sports. I could have done a lot of things, but instead I gave him a pass to come up to my room and work on the assignment during one of his free periods. Why? Because it isn’t wrong (or abnormal) for a middle school boy to desire nothing more than living and breathing sports. What’s wrong here is the fact that his parents are letting him do it.

I don’t know all the details, and I’m certainly not going to put myself in the lose-lose situation of trying to explain to someone how to raise their kids, but this boy’s schedule just screams poor decision-making.

My students are reading Todd Strasser’s The Wave, and there’s a cautionary line in the book that we are discussing today in class. Interestingly enough, it fits this scenario nicely.

"This experiment involves young, impressionable kids. Sometimes we forget that they are young and haven’t developed the judgment we hope they’ll have someday.”

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Internet Filtering - Restriction or Protection?

I still believe we should be teaching Internet responsibility and digital citizenship to our students instead of trying to hide all the bad things behind a big iron curtain. But the fact remains that the Internet is a complex and sometimes seedy beast. It’s easy to forget that fact when search results for well-intentioned lesson plans get blocked, or when you watch students spend a period trying to sneak their way onto a gaming website. This is when the frustrated teacher throws his/her hands in the air and declares the filter to be the work of the devil. But for every game blocked, that filtering software is also blocking potential predators, unsavory images, and God knows what else.

I was thinking about this more over the weekend while flipping through the Black Friday edition of The Buffalo News. There were two stories on the front page of the City and Region section that highlighted someone using the Internet. One was about a Michigan man using a Genealogy website to find his long-lost birthmother. The other was about a local filmmaker getting arrested for having downloaded more than 1300 child-porn images. These articles create an interesting juxtaposition.

So what’s the answer? Is it to open the floodgates and hope no one gets swept away in the current? Is it to turn off the lights and sit in darkness? Perhaps it’s a bit of both, but where to draw the line is as big (if not bigger) or a question that whether filtering is needed in the first place.

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Eat Dinner with Your Family!

When my wife and I first got married (it'll be four years in April!), my mom gave us one simple piece of advice – never eat dinner with the television on. She reminded us that dinner was a time to catch up with each other's lives; a time to ask How was your day? We've followed her advice, and I feel our lives are better for it.

Today (while not eating a meal), a commercial for Stouffer's caught my attention. They had taken my mom's words of wisdom one step further by suggesting that kids who eat dinner with their families are destined to do better in school, be more successful, and stay out of trouble. Wait a minute, Stouffer's, I think you're manipulating data here.

Am I arguing that eating dinner every night as a family is important? Absolutely not – I wholehearted agree that it's important to establish that as part of the daily routine. But I'm having a hard time swallowing the assumption that sitting down to a sodium-delicious Stouffer's meal will improve a kid's work habits at school. I remember a similar scenario appearing in an Educational Psychology course I had to take in grad school. It went like this - If wealthy families tend to own small dogs, then can it be assumed that small dogs are an indicator of wealth? I don't remember the exact term – some form of causation or correlation – but the same applies to families who eat dinner together. It's not the meal that causes the kids to do well, but the fact they come from a family who has it together enough to know that it's important to share in the lives of the people you love.

I'd like to know the percentage of families who still eat together. I'd assume it's lower than we expect. But in the end, if it takes a commercial campaign to make it happen, I'm okay with that. It's not quite as sentimental as your mother sharing her advice on your wedding day, but the message is clear. It's important to eat as a family, share as a family, and listen as a family.

Here's the commercial, or you can visit the commercial campaign site (dubbed "Let's Fix Dinner") here.

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A Good School Fundraiser

Last Sunday my wife and I packed up the kids and headed to Applebee’s for a fundraiser breakfast hosted by the girls’ swim team. I had been hit up earlier in the week by a student – the tickets were only 5 bucks and promised pancakes and a bottomless cup of coffee, so I was all for it. It seemed like a symbiotic venture for both the swim team and the franchise. Applebee’s is typically closed Sunday morning, so they gained by charging a small building fee, and the rest was profits for the team.

But that’s not the only reason why I liked this fundraiser. Once we bundled the kids, piled into the car, and arrived at the restaurant, we were greeted at the door by several students acting as hostesses. Several other girls soon came to the table with our meals, and a girl who normally sits in my 2nd period class cleared my empty dishes. What a fantastic idea.

There’s a level of obligation to participating in fundraisers because the kid standing at your desk trying to convince you to buy candy/popcorn/wrapping paper/raffle tickets/candles is the same kid that just humored you in class and laughed at your dumb jokes. Forking over money for junk we don’t want comes with the territory of being a teacher, right?

I liked the breakfast fundraiser because it involved the kids working for the money. Maybe it's just my optimistic nature to try and see everything as a teachable moment, but you can bet those girls learned more than the kid whose mom dumped a box of fundraiser chocolates in the middle of her office with a sign saying something like “My son wants to go on a class trip to Montreal!”

You know and I know that I will probably cave regardless of the fundraiser (the $20 box of microwave popcorn sitting in my pantry is proof enough). But I appreciate it when the student at the helm and made to work for it.

In the end, whatever it is they are working toward will be more rewarding.

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